Homemade Egg Noodles

Tonight I am planning a delicious chicken noodle soup where I will eat it in my pajamas, with a blanket on top of me and then afterwards not get off the couch for hours.    You see it’s very cold here to the point of where I text before I get home so someone can have a hot cup of tea ready for me.   Also today I hurt my shoulder blade (I call it my “angel wing” which confuses everyone) carrying a 24 pack of Fancy Feast.  Dont ask.  Just know I love cats so much I injure myself while freezing out on the street.  Where was I?

Egg noodles! So I went to the store because I was looking for frozen egg noodles – something more tasty than the bagged ones.  Something that just has flour, eggs, salt and butter in it.  Something that doesn’t have ingredients like FERROUS SULFATE (IRON), THIAMINE MONONITRATE, RIBOFLAVIN, FOLIC ACID in it which honestly I don’t know what they are.  You know what I mean?   Something that my mom would have made.  Well actually I don’t think my mom ever made noodles from scratch.  But you know what I mean, I know you do.

So after I struck out at the supermarket where they don’t sell frozen egg noodles I set off to make my own.  I’m so glad I did, I’m not sure if I can ever buy them again!  Please try these! You can use them right away, refrigerate for later in the day, or freeze for whenever you want!

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Full recipe and walk through behind the cut.

PS. This post brought to you by one covered in flour phone.
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Ingredients:
2.5 cups flour
2 eggs
1/2 cup milk
1 tablespoon butter
1 pinch of salt

Directions:
In a bowl mix together the flour and salt. 
Beat your eggs together.
Add the beaten eggs, milk and butter to the flour mixture.
Mix and knead until it’s smooth. (You can use a food processor here if you have one).
Put in a bowl, cover, let rise for 10 minutes.
On a floured surface roll out your dough to about 1/4 inch thickness.
Cut it into noodle sizes of your preference.
Air dry before you cook them.
Cook in boiled water as usual.

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These are the simplest ingredients in the world.  I bet you have all of them right now.
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Measure your flour.  I am so glad I bought this 4 cup Pyrex cup.  It’s been one of the best purchases of my life.
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Mix flour + salt.
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Crack 2 eggs.
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Beat them.  Get your frustration out.
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Add eggs to flour mixture.
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Add milk to flour mixture.
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Add butter to flour mixture.
Now you need to do alot of arm strength and mix them all together until it’s dough. I was going this route when I asked myself “Self, why aren’t  you using the glorious food processor you worship?”
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So I did and it was done in 15 seconds.
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Dough!
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Happy Dough!
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Cover for 10 minutes.  Wash up while you’re waiting, you have made a real mess.
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Time’s up, now the real hard part. Rolling it out.
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This is my childhood rolling pin.   It’s older than me.  I have used it from baking sugar cookies when I was 4 years old to making egg noodles when I’m 29 years old.  I forget when I did but I stole it from my childhood home one year.  Sorry dad.  But I don’t think you ever realized it was gone.  Until now.
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Now, I have to explain something.  I am extremely weak.  I don’t think you understand my weakness.  Carrying Fancy Feast cans causes me back injuries.  I have no arm muscles.  I can’t do a push up.  Not one. I can’t do a chin up or hang from a bar.  I have no muscles.  People laugh at me.  It’s really mean.  I am trying to bulk up by lifting 2 pound weights but they are too heavy for me.    So while rolling, this was as far as I got until I was out of breath and frustrated.  So I do what I have to do.. I bat my mascara covered eyelashes and say to Matthew “Oh dear, I’m so weak.  You are so strong.  Can you do me a favor?  Little ole me will forever be grateful of your strong muscles. You are such a strong man”.  Then suddenly….
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I have a man in my kitchen rolling my dough.  It’s really magical.  Try it.
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When he’s done make sure to grab his hand and say thank you.  You truly appreciate him, your big strong man.
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He did do a good job though.
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Now a secret which will make this quicker.  You are going to roll your dough up… just trust me on this one.
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All rolled up.  But it’s so long, it’s falling off the cutting board…
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So cut it up into 2.
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Dough, you are so beautiful.  Seriously.
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Now cut your dough into little strips.  Basically it looks like you are cutting pinwheels.
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One done.  Now cut the other one.
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Then take them all apart so they are in their strips.  At this time I eat a piece.  Or 2. Or 3.
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Pretty, Pretty, Pretty.
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Then cut them in half.
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Then cut each half in half.  This is really up to you.  If you want smaller noodles, cut more.  If you want larger noodles, don’t cut as much.
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Then start to arrange them on a cookie sheet that has wax paper on it so they won’t stick to it.  I planned on making these later that night, so this sheet went straight into the refrigerator.  You can freeze them if you want as well.
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You just made egg noodles.  Are you excited? I sure am!
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Enjoy!

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